El día en que robaron mi torta de cumpleaños

Queridos, les dejo aquí esta graciosa reseña de un tal Malcolm Hardee, ladrón profesional de tortas de cumpleaños. Fue en el festejo de mi 40º aniversario de vida, el 7 de Octubre de 1986:

Malcolm Hardee

Como consecuencia de la publicidad en OTT, nos invitaron a actuar en el cumpleaños número 40 de Freddie Mercury. Él era entonces una de las estrellas internacionales más grandes. Fuimos al Xenón Club en Piccadilly, Londres, y estábamos en un vestidor del tamaño de un armario grande con otros doce actores. Un acróbata ruso dio su show primero, luego un enano, luego un acto de pantomima y luego íbamos nosotros. Había una ventana alta en la puerta de nuestro vestidor y tuvimos que sostener al enano para averiguar qué pasaba dentro del club, porque los organizadores no nos dejaban salir para ver a toda la gente famosa: Freddie Mercury, Elton John, Rod Stewart, la Princesa Margareth. Nosotros estábamos listos para nuestra actuación desnudos, cuando el gerente de Freddie Mercury apareció y dijo:

-“Ustedes no pueden hacer el acto”

-“¿Qué quiere decir?  Preguntamos, “¿Por qué no?”

-“No queremos que hagan su actuación”, dijo.

-“¿Pero por qué no?”

-“No queremos que asocien a Freddie Mercury con nada que pueda ser considerado gay” dijo.

-“Pero no hacemos un acto gay”, dije. “Y, de todos modos, ¡él es gay! Tiene puesto un traje rosado y su banda se llama Queen, o sea Reina” El mánager me miró. “Igual no importa”, dije. “No me preocupa. Pero él es gay y todos lo saben. No me importa”.

No nos dejaron hacer el Baile del Globo, pero nos pagaron de todos modos y nos metimos en el bolsillo 600 libras esterlinas. Luego le dije al gerente:

– “¿al menos podemos ir a la fiesta?”

-“No”, dijo. “No antes de que corte Freddie la torta”.

Unos minutos más tarde, una torta grande rosada era trasladada en el club. Era aproximadamente de unos doce pies de largo y tenía la forma de un Rolls Royce con una patente que decía FM-1. La pusieron encima de de tres mesas. Freddie Mercury posó con un cuchillo para los fotógrafos y la cortó.

Entonces desapareció. En ese momento pregunté:

– “¿Podemos ir a la fiesta ahora?”

-“Sí”, nos dijeron, pero con la condición de que no podíamos ir al lugar donde estaban todas las estrellas. Comencé a amargarme. Yo quería hacer el Baile del Globo y ya no podría. Quería conocer a todas las Estrellas y ya no podría. Terminamos en un cuarto grande, donde había cuerdas con gente colgándose y dónde una pinta de cerveza costaba aproximadamente 3 liras. Le dije a los otros dos, “Vámonos, que se jodan”

Cuándo íbamos por el pasillo que llevaba a la puerta vimos la torta de cumpleaños de Freddie Mercury. “¡Nos vamos a llevar esto!”, dije, la levantamos (era pesadísima) y la subimos por unas escaleras para meterla dentro de nuestra camioneta. La metimos y tuve que salir rapidísimo del Xenón, en el barrio residencial de Londres, a toda marcha hasta mi casa al sureste de Londres con aquella torta que sobresalía por la parte de atrás de mi camioneta. Vivía en un apartamento en el último piso y, cuando llegamos, no podíamos hacerla pasar por la puerta. Decidimos llevarla a la casa de Martin: él vivía sobre en la planta baja. Pero la torta no tampoco encajaba por su puerta y la tuvimos que pasar por su ventana.

A las nueve de la mañana me llama Louis Parker por teléfono:

– “¡Idiotas! ¡Se robaron la torta de cumpleaños de Freddie Mercury! Vale cuatro mil liras y llamaron a la policía.”

-“¡La Puta!”, dije. Sinceramente estaba preocupado, sobre todo porque los datos que tenían eran los míos pero Martin, muy brillante, se le ocurrió que como era Navidad “se la daremos a una residencia de ancianos que hay por acá”

Llamamos a la clínica de ancianos Ranyard Memorial Nursing Home, les ofrecimos una torta grande y ellos dijeron que les venía bien. Entonces la misma historia pero al revés. Tuvimos que sacar la torta para afuera por la ventana. La subimos en la parte de atrás de la camioneta y les llevamos la torta a los viejos. Después volví a mi casa a tirarme una merecida siesta.

Aproximadamente a las cuatro de la tarde, dos oficiales CID vinieron a mi puerta y me dijeron:

-“Usted tiene la torta de cumpleaños de Freddie Mercury”

-“No la tengo” respondí francamente.

Entonces, – y esto lo juro por Dios – entraron a mi casa y empezaron a buscar con sus lupas migas que den indicios que la torta había estado ahí.

Al día de hoy que no me atraparon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v_FC70j0LY&has_verified=1

Les dejó para que lean la vida de este comediante en Wikipedia y el relato textual de él en inglés ACÁ

279 thoughts on “El día en que robaron mi torta de cumpleaños

  1. jjajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaj
    kakajajajajjajajajajajajjajajajajajaj
    JAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJJAa
    jajajajAJAJAJAJAJJAJAjajajjajajaj
    jAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAJ
    jjajajajaj

  2. Jajajaja, muy raro eso de la torta por la ventana…. pero yo tengo una duda ¿tu como reaccionaste Freddie?…. me imagino como…. jajajaja

    Saludos!

  3. Freddy hoy como todos los años el coro de angeles celestiales te deben estar acompañando en tu cumplaños. Siempre te recordamos. Feliz cumpleaños ídolo!!!!!

  4. Genial la anecdota y termino la torta en un asilo de ancianos, bueno al final se la robaron, pero fue a dar a buenas manos, aunque a ti obviamente no te debe haber hecho ninguna gracia, y ese baile del globo, conozco hartos bailes exoticos, pero ese no estaba en mis libros.

  5. JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!! QUÉ MANDA DE QUEMADOS!!!! XD

    CÓMO SE VAN A ROBAR LA TORTA DE FREDDIE??? CUALQUIERAAAAAAAAA!!! XD

    Y DESPUÉS ENTREGARLA A UN ASILO????? JAJAJAJAJAJAAJAJAJAJAJAJ!!! MÁS QUEAMADOS TODAVÍAAAA XD

    JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!! NO, NO DOY MÁS DE LA RISA!!!! JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!!

    POSTA QUE ESTO ES CUALQUIER COSA XD!!!! JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!!!

    TANTO LÍO POR UNA TORTA XD JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAAJAJA!!!!

  6. POBRE FRED! LE ROBARON LA HERMOSA TORTA!!! JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!!
    DESPUES DE TODO CREO QUE EL NO SE HUBIERA MOLESTADO EN VER ESE BAILE, DE ULTIMA SE HUBIERA CAGADO DE RISA PERO NO ENOJARCE!!!
    JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!
    QUE VALENTIA LA DEL TIPO PARA ROBARLE UNA TORTA AL GENIO DE FRED!
    BUENA ANCDOTA! JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!

  7. No se. Pero yo creo que Freddie debe haberse puesto furioso, y seguramente armo un berrinche de los suyos. No creo que se lo haya tomado con humor

  8. Lo del berrinche se da por descontado que asi fue, razon tenia era su cumpleaños y le roban lo principal.

  9. Les aseguro que si freddie hubiese sabido esto los hubiera dejado ir a la fiesta con los famosos, y nada de esto hubiese pasado ¿verdad Fred?

  10. I simply want to mention I am new to blogs and actually liked this web page. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your site . You really come with fantastic well written articles. Kudos for sharing your blog.

  11. Whats up very nice site!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your web site and take the feeds also…I am glad to find a lot of useful information here in the post, we need develop more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing.

  12. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your fantastic post.

    Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

  13. I have not checked in here for a while since I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  14. I’ve learned a few important things as a result of your post. I’d personally also like to say that there may be situation where you will have a loan and do not need a cosigner such as a Federal government Student Aid Loan. But if you are getting a loan through a common banker then you need to be prepared to have a co-signer ready to make it easier for you. The lenders are going to base their very own decision on a few variables but the most important will be your credit standing. There are some lenders that will also look at your work history and come to a decision based on this but in almost all cases it will be based on on your scores.

  15. We’re a bunch of volunteers and opening a new
    scheme in our community. Your website offered us with helpful information to work on. You have performed a formidable process
    and our whole neighborhood will be thankful to you.

  16. I have observed that online education is getting well-known because attaining your degree online has become a popular selection for many people. A lot of people have not really had a possibility to attend a conventional college or university nevertheless seek the raised earning potential and career advancement that a Bachelor’s Degree provides. Still some others might have a diploma in one course but would like to pursue something they already have an interest in.

  17. I used to be very happy to search out this net-site.I wished to thanks to your time for this wonderful learn!! I definitely having fun with every little little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

  18. I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but great
    topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more.
    Thanks for great information I was looking for this information for
    my mission.

  19. I’ll right away clutch your rss as I can not find your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please permit me recognise in order that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  20. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required to get set up?
    I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a
    pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not
    100% sure. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Cheers

  21. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this excellent blog!
    I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
    I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my
    Facebook group. Talk soon!

  22. The next time I learn a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I do know it was my choice to learn, but I really thought youd have one thing attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you might repair if you werent too busy looking for attention.

  23. Hello there, I found your web site via Google whilst looking for a similar subject, your web site got here up, it appears to be like good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  24. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually understand what you’re speaking approximately! Bookmarked. Please also consult with my website =). We will have a hyperlink exchange arrangement between us!

  25. Hello, Neat post. There is an issue with your website in web explorer, may check this… IE still is the marketplace chief and a huge portion of other folks will miss your great writing due to this problem.

  26. hello there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues using this web site, as I experienced to reload the site a lot of times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and can damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my email and could look out for much more of your respective fascinating content. Make sure you update this again very soon..

  27. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days..

  28. I do love the manner in which you have presented this challenge plus it does present us a lot of fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, coming from what I have seen, I really trust as the commentary pile on that individuals stay on issue and not embark upon a soap box involving the news of the day. Yet, thank you for this outstanding point and whilst I can not necessarily agree with it in totality, I regard the viewpoint.

  29. Today, with all the fast way of life that everyone is having, credit cards have a big demand throughout the market. Persons out of every area are using the credit card and people who are not using the card have made up their minds to apply for 1. Thanks for discussing your ideas about credit cards.

  30. Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share. Cheers!

  31. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wished to mention that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I’m
    hoping you write again very soon!

  32. Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post! It is the little changes
    that make the most significant changes. Thanks for sharing!

  33. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful info specially the last part 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was looking for this particular information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

  34. I’m not sure exactly why but this blog is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  35. hi!,I like your writing very much! percentage we keep up
    a correspondence extra about your article on AOL?
    I require a specialist in this space to unravel my problem.
    Maybe that is you! Looking ahead to peer you.

  36. Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the web the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people consider worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  37. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my weblog thus i came to “return the favor”.I am trying to
    find things to enhance my website!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

  38. Hi there! I understand this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask.
    Does operating a well-established blog like yours require a lot of work?
    I am completely new to blogging however I do write in my diary everyday.
    I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal
    experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any recommendations or tips
    for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

  39. We are a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with helpful info to work on. You have performed a formidable process and our whole group shall be grateful to you.

  40. That is very attention-grabbing, You’re an overly professional blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and sit up for searching for more of your wonderful post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!

  41. What i don’t realize is actually how you’re now not really much more smartly-appreciated than you may be now. You are very intelligent. You recognize therefore significantly when it comes to this subject, produced me in my opinion believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women aren’t involved unless it’s something to do with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs outstanding. All the time care for it up!

  42. wonderful post, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists of this sector do not notice this. You must continue your writing. I am sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  43. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this excellent blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  44. F*ckin’ remarkable things here. I am very glad to see your post. Thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?

Deja un comentario

Tu dirección de correo electrónico no será publicada. Los campos obligatorios están marcados con *